12/24/2023
Teens are not using apps to date because the apps require you to be at least 18 to sign up. They are meeting people elsewhere online. This article is information for parents, from what teachers hear at school, from teens. This will also include some analysis and research on how widespread this is. Parents aren’t usually up to date on the trends for teens. This article will also cover ways parents can help develop their child’s skills in approach to strangers ion technology.. Our goal is to protect students by holding boundaries and being a partner to the parent in raising their child, not standing alone in raising the child.
Online dating by the numbers
According to the Pew Research Center, 53% of adults are dating people online and only 8% of teenagers are meeting online .(Vogels 2023). This is a small number of those that will admit to dating online. School is still the largest pool of dating for teenagers. However, the ones who are loners and feel isolated at school will more than likely turn to online dating to meet the needs they are not getting met at school. Autistic teens are more likely to meet someone online. Teens with social anxiety are more likely. Those most vulnerable are more likely and that is why I feel this is important.
Social Media Accounts
People meet and start dating on social media outlets everyday. Twitch, Twitter, Youtube, and more. It varies by country. In 2021, the University of Minnesota did research on the most popular social media platform for teens and the results were interesting. 85% of teens aged 13 to 17 use YouTube everyday. The second most popular social media app is Instagram and Tik Tok. 69 percent of teens use those apps daily. (Dworkin 2021). In 2023, Pew Research did more research on teen social media use. Daily YouTube use has gone up to 95% of teens using it daily. 66% of teens use TikTok, 62% use IG and now only 59% use Snapchat. Under 20% of teens say they use Twitter, Twitch, What’s App, Reddit and Tumbler monthly.
TikTok is more common among black teens and other teen girls. 81% of black teens say they use TikTok daily versus 10% of white teens. Boys are more likely to use YouTube than girls. YouTube is widely popular among teenage boys.
Pew Research did research on adults in 2021. 81% of adults still watch YouTube daily and 69% of adults look at Facebook daily. 25% of adults say they use snapchat. Still, the pattern is that YouTube is the most common source of information for adults and teens. (Auxier 2021)
When you look at the numbers, TikTok and Facebook are still the most accessible ways to date for teens and adults alike. Those under the age of 30 are more likely to meet on social media than dating apps
Teen Dating Apps
Many of these are still new but teen dating apps are places where your child could risk explicit content exposure and sexual predators. These are the 3 most popular teen apps as of February 2023
- Yubo
- Scout
- MeetMe
Here are some other apps where teens meet that exist but are less popular:
- Spotafriend
- Taffy
- Coffemeetsbagel
- KIK
- Hot or Not
- Bumble
- MyLOL
The Parent Role
First of all, you will need to keep up to date on the newest apps for teens. YOu can search for keywords online like “Teen dating apps”. Especially know the hookup type apps. These young people are meeting strangers for sex and I hear about it all the time. Your teen may be doing it or not but they certainly are exposed to others doing it.
Young women are selling themselves on these apps. You could have parental control on their phone. That is one suggestion. However, they know about backup phones. Check out this article on WikiHow on how to own a cellphone without your parents knowing:
https://www.verywellmind.com/erik-eriksons-stages-of-psychosocial-development-2795740
Your best weapon against exploitation of your child is to talk to them. Do not treat them like they are not exposed to this, even if they are homeschooled. Hiding under religious values as a reason not to have these conversations is setting up your child as a target for exploitation. Predators have their feelers out everyday. Start by knowing the Stages of Psychosocial Development.
Here is a link to start with:
Very Well Mind and Psychosocial Development
Then, progress by talking to your child when they are young about talking to strangers, improper touching and improper words. You can start doing this as an infant and toddler. These are the ages they are building their trust and shame and doubt as part of their personality.
Later in life, continue the conversation, look at your teens phone and ask what the apps are. Ask them what they see and what they know. Ask them what their friends are getting into. Be a safe space for them to tell you things without fear, and then you can guide them. Tell them about the dangers that lurk online. As they get older, talk to them about proper sexual behavior. This is not the school’s job, this is yours. As your child develops, you should be able to see them move through the stages, and grow. Teen years is stage 5 of the Psychosocial Stages. Study that and understand what they are developing and you can help them better if you understand where they are better.If they are 13 and still stuck in stage 4, then you know where to work. Remember, this is always a conversation, not a dictatorship.
Having this close of a relationship with a student is inappropriate, yet many times students do not have anyone to turn to but a teacher.
Sources and Research to consider:
Subrahmanyam, K., & Greenfield, P. (2008). Online Communication and Adolescent Relationships. The Future of Children, 18(1), 119–146. http://www.jstor.org/stable/20053122
Vogels, E. A., & McClain, C. (2023, February 2). Key findings about online dating in the U.S. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/02/key-findings-about-online-dating-in-the-u-s/#:~:text=Online%20dating%20is%20more%20common,of%20those%2065%20and%20older
Dworkin, J. (2021). Teens Online and social media use. UMN Extension. https://extension.umn.edu/tough-topics-kids/teens-online-and-social-media-use#:~:text=In%20the%20United%20States%2C%20YouTube,teens%20are%20monthly%20TikTok%20users
Auxier, B., & Anderson, M. (2021, April 7). Social media use in 2021. Pew Research Center: Internet, Science & Tech. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2021/04/07/social-media-use-in-2021/#:~:text=Some%2084%25%20of%20adults%20ages,45%25)%20report%20doing%20this