There are several reported studies about the effects of adult relationships in the life of a child and how it affects their ability to adjust and do well in higher education. This article will cover known theories about child-adult relationships, the newest theories and some things to consider about the research. I am speaking in general since I do not know individual situations. With that in mind, when I am speaking to things one may consider, I am speaking from the perspective of what I have seen in my classroom and what I have heard from others. 

Established theory = adult relatability is necessary for school success

Developmental psychologists widely acknowledge that successful adaptation to school plays a crucial role in shaping a well-functioning individual. School serves as the environment where children refine their abilities to interact with unfamiliar individuals and navigate relationships with authority figures. Establishing friendships, achieving satisfactory academic performance (to the satisfaction of both children and parents), and fostering motivational focus for accomplishment are particularly vital during the early middle school years. Parental influence significantly contributes to this motivation. If you’re interested in delving deeper into the workings of motivation, stay tuned for an upcoming blog post on the topic.

In 1997, the University of Rochester and the Society for the Study of School Psychology conducted a study involving low-risk elementary students. The participants, reflecting on their relationships with parents and teachers, noted a perceptible shift starting in middle school. The study delved into developmental trends among the students, emphasizing how early experiences with adult relationships significantly contribute to their receptiveness to learning. Establishing trust in your child from an early age is paramount, as studies reveal that trust dynamics begin as early as infancy. Factors like adhering to a regular feeding routine during infancy influence a child’s trust in adults during adolescence. Notably, the university study highlights that maltreated children exhibit heightened instances of academic, motivational, interpersonal, and disciplinary challenges in school compared to their non-maltreated counterparts (pg 83).

A study published in the Journal of Development and Psychopathology in 1995 found that children who entered the school year with an expectation of retention were less likely to experience retention if they maintained a positive relationship with their teacher (Pianta & Stenberg, 1992). These findings persist from Kindergarten through adolescence and notably are not associated with peer relationships

Favorable peer relationships do not necessarily coincide with stress in adult relationships. In fact, adolescents who express positive connections with both parents and teachers demonstrate improved adaptability to school life.Improved peer relations doesn’t have the same results. This is evident in their academic coping abilities, engagement levels, self-regulation, and perceived control—all of which contribute significantly to enhanced grades and academic success.

After the initial transition to junior high school, children commonly experience declines in self-esteem, class preparation, perceptions of school life quality, achievement motivation, and grade-point average. This trend is particularly noticeable in large urban schools. Children also report an increase in daily hassles at school coupled with a decrease in social support. Early adolescence presents a challenging period as individuals navigate leaving the familiarity of their peer group for a new, unfamiliar set of peers, many of whom are older. Additionally, this juncture may be an inopportune time to shift from the context of a single teacher who is familiar with each child’s social and academic strengths to an environment characterized by limited interactions with numerous teachers.

During their first year in junior high school, children commonly face declines in self-esteem, preparedness, perceptions of school life quality, motivation, and grades. This pattern is especially evident in large urban schools, where students report increased daily challenges and decreased social support. The transition to junior high in early adolescence is awkward as individuals move away from the familiarity of their peer group to interact with a new set of unfamiliar, often older peers. Additionally, this phase may not be the ideal time to transition from an environment with a single teacher who comprehends each child’s social and academic strengths to a setting characterized by limited interactions with multiple teachers.

An interesting observation from the study highlights that the overall trend in teacher findings predominantly mirrors changes in children’s patterns of connection with their mothers. Interestingly, this dynamic doesn’t seem to align with the same patterns observed in the relationship with the father or school interaction in this study. The connection with the mother might emerge as the most crucial factor influencing school achievement.

Child Attachment Theories

Let’s talk about some theories of childhood attachment. A simple definition of this is how the infant mother and the child relate to one another. In cognitive, social and behavioral areas, securely attached infants tend to have better long term academic outcomes. The research shows that mothers with support facilitating positive attachment, children have a better chance of having a secure attachment style. This is coming from a study by Flaherty and Sadler in a 2010 review of Attachment Theory in parenting. Modeling proper parent responses to infant communication methods increases the trust the child builds with the mother and other women in their lives. The younger the mother, the more at risk the infant is for developing unhealthy attachment styles. 

Attachment Theory- 

Image from: https://www.structural-learning.com/post/bowlbys-attachment-theory

The concept of Attachment theory was introduced by John Bowlby, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst.along with Mary Ainsworth, a developmental psychologist. Initially, the theory emphasized the idea that infants are inherently programmed to establish attachments, functioning as a survival mechanism. These early attachments, cultivated in the early years of life, extend beyond mere temporary connections; they significantly influence a child’s subsequent emotional well-being and relationships. Other’s added to the field adding that the individual’s relationship with the mother weighed heavier in the child’s adjustment than the relationship with the father.

Self-Efficacy Theory

SET suggests that pointing out positive changes in an infant’s behavior and attributing these changes to the mother’s efforts might enhance the normal development of parenting self-efficacy

Social Cognitive Learning Theory:

Image from: https://helpfulprofessor.com/social-learning-theory-examples/

Albert Bandura, a Stanford Professor, suggested that aggression can be acquired through the indirect process of observational learning. According to social learning theory, children learn by imitating others. If a role model exhibits aggressive behavior, an individual may internalize and replicate those aggressive acts in the future. It is quite often you see this in action as a teacher. If a child is acting like a fool in the classroom, often they have an adult at home that they learned it from and you see that when you meet them. Also, applying this model to how much misbehaving we have in classrooms today, kids learn behaviors from classmates and they do not realize they are picking it up. This happens subconsciously. 

Knowing different ways your child learns behavior is key to understanding them more clearly.

Image from: https://sbccimplementationkits.org/sbcc-in-emergencies/social-cognitive-learning-theory/

Recent Reports:

Recent reports have shifted from the study of child behavior to parenting behavior. The Journal of Trauma, Violence and Abuse reported in 2018 that positive behavioral parenting interventions can promote child well-being.

It is reported that parenting guidance improves children’s overall success in adjusting in social, emotional and academic situations

Parenting tips:

There is a push for primary care physicians to support parenting in their practices but I caution anyone in allowing Primary Care doctors to guide parenting from an educational perspective. I will never say don’t ask your doctor about something but they are not the only ones capable of meeting the needs of children. Evidence-based programs are a good idea as the studies indicated.  People seeking out parenting advice go to their pediatricians. Doctors have noticed a need for parenting education but have been unable to create it systematically.

Effective parental self-efficacy is associated with positive parenting behaviors, such as being responsive to a child’s needs, providing non-punitive care, actively participating in parent-child interactions, accepting and supporting the child’s concerns, and utilizing active coping strategies. Talk aloud on how they cope with situations. In real time, model for the child how you cope. Teach them mantras. Coping mechanisms are key to success in the secondary level.

As a child grows older and negative behaviors become ingrained, simply changing schools may not be the sole solution. Developing adaptability to the environment is a valuable skill that many individuals lack. Instead of resorting to school transfers, consider revisiting the challenging situations your child faces. By asking the right questions, you can gain deeper insights into your child’s perspective. Engage in conversations with your child about how they acquired certain behaviors, understand the reasons behind their actions, and, in a sense, provide guidance to reshape their behavior. It’s never too late to initiate this process.

Now, let’s delve into Social Cognitive Learning Theory (SCLT), which I believe is crucial for addressing missed stages of development. The theory identifies three ways children learn. Under Behavioral Factors, there are practice and self-efficacy. Practice involves guiding your child to recognize when they make mistakes, encouraging them to read people’s expressions, emotions, and body language (teaching empathy). This awareness helps them understand when something is amiss. Subsequently, practice the thinking skills required to rectify the situation, such as apologizing for miscommunications, clarifying intentions, and reframing situations positively. Just as these behaviors are learned at school, they can be unlearned at home. Here are the key elements: 

Image: https://www.educationcorner.com/social-learning-theory/

This is something to practice when you see them acting in ways that are not ideal for success:

1. Get them to listen to you. You know them best. If they are not looking you in the eye, pick a better time to talk, like over their favorite meal. 
2. Figure out a shortcut for them to remember what you are saying. For example, “ABC is Act, Back up, Care ”. Have them repeat it. 
3. Practice by showing them what should have happened. Show them and then involve them.
4. Figure out a consequence or a motivating factor for them to continue this ABC act. I always tell them, “if this happens again, we have to go through this same act as many times as you continue the same behavior.:” This is negative reinforcement but a good balance of positive and negative reinforcement is important.
5. You can also provide positive reinforcement in the form of verbal encouragement or rewards for positive behaviors learned from watching others.

If you would like better guidance for your situation, I am available. I can offer sessions, you can be a gust on my podcast

Sources and other research to consider:

Flaherty SC, Sadler LS. A review of attachment theory in the context of adolescent parenting. J Pediatr Health Care. 2011 Mar-Apr;25(2):114-21. doi: 10.1016/j.pedhc.2010.02.005. Epub 2010 May 1. PMID: 21320683; PMCID: PMC3051370.

Pianta, R.C., & Steinberg, M. (1992). Teacher-child relationships and the process of adjusting to school. New Directions for Child Development, Beyond the Parent: The Role of Other Adults in Children’s Lives, 57, 61-80.

Pianta, R.C., Steinberg, M., & Rollins, K.B. (1995). The first two years of school: Teacher-child relationships and deflections in children’s classroom adjustment. Development and Psychopathology, 7, 295-312.

Children’s relationships with adults and peers: An examination of elementary and junior high school students –https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022440596000313

Moon, D. J., Damman, J. L., & Romero, A. (2020). The Effects of Primary Care–Based Parenting Interventions on Parenting and Child Behavioral Outcomes: A Systematic Review. Trauma, Violence & Abuse, 21(4), 706–724. https://www.jstor.org/stable/27011059

Collaborative on Healthy Parenting in Primary Care –

https://www.nationalacademies.org/our-work/collaborative-on-healthy-parenting-in-primary-care

For Teachers to consider on this topic:

Franks, D., Barblett, L. & Kirk, G. Teachers’ Understanding of the Major Sources of Self-efficacy in Early Childhood. Early Childhood Educ J (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10643-023-01566-9